This is an edited collection of Foolish Mistakes I Have Made when going out for food. I hope my idiocy will save you some embarrassment, and stains.
1. To my shame, this first one was an error I made having already started this series. Should I have known better than to wear a pashmina to a buffet? Of course, especially during Ramadan, when my short-sleeved dress wouldn't be decent without it. Did I dip the shawl in the gravy? I surely did. I smelled like lamb all night.
2. Short skirts. Is there ANY chance you might be sitting at a bar? Even a tapas bar? Or waiting in low-slung comfy chairs while waiters get your table ready? Then say no to the miniskirt. (This is one of my most frequent errors - the number of times I've had to improvise some coverage with a clashing napkin.)
3. A belted dress, into which I only just fit, to a function with unlimited artisanal cheeses unexpectedly on offer. Never assume you won't be eating much.
4. Wedges to Left Bank, only to have to park by the museum and walk awkwardly up the hill.
5. Heels to a beach do. The way I look when I am trying to extricate a stiletto with each step is only funny for so long.